got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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