you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize