Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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