what day is it and did you see me today?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
