New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize