butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
