oh god the rape fog is back!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't deserve a penis
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
