Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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