i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
