They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
