Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
