I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
