I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
