I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Mom said you looked used
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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