I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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