I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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