is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
