is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
