Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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