is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
