I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
