I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
