Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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