Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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