Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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