Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
