It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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