I look better un-naked...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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