Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
