No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
