he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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