wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
