When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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