I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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