They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
