I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
