We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize