you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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