i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
