I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
