Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
