just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize