I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize