We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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