Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
