I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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