One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
