I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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