If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
