Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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