If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
