oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
