Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
