Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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